I finally realised..I'm such a fucking foolish guy..doing stupid stuffs..maybe he was right.i shouldn't be an SL after all..not fit to wear the tie and sorts..something just screwed up today..after choir..Me and Xavier fought...we were stopped by mr chen..explained to us and solved the matter..i accepted the explanation while Xavier can't really exactly accept at that point..but i was not exactly convinced that the matter is solved.called xavier at bout 9 to explain that i overlooked a problem,that Xavier is just a kid,he wont how to draw the line between personal and work.i talked to him and then i can call it solved..mdm yam spoke too and said i shouldnt be too close to xavier..others started lecturing me...Fuck this thing all together..i've already been through this..at home,i m the older one..i'm usually blamed for all the wrong things my bro did and explained that i am responsible in a way or another..in choir i am blamed for the wrong things i did..nobody realised i didnt want to fight xavier at all..not because i am afraid,or the discipline action behind the actions...its because i really dont want to..people should know...yet they still commented on my actions...truly disappointed at everything...at everyone..they just dont know me enough..
Fuck the guy who said that will be no winners in a fight..cause i just known..that the winners of that fight is the DC and those who wanna watch us fall..well..they achieved it..they should celebrate...the limelight will be theirs..but in the backstage...the hurt of two people wont be seen...I've totally lost interest in myself,my life and everyone around..really...those people wanted to say something should really bang their heads against the wall...when we were fighting,no one stopped it...when it stopped..then they talk..hais..i dont feel like going back for choir le...一失足成千古恨..yes..i did something wrong and now i am totally condemned...i am not a good senior or whatsoever...xavier too...is life really like that?whats more..the person i thought who would step out to say something in defence for me didnt..and the person who used to cheer me up in a way or another isnt here anymore.. Fuck life,Fuck Me,Fuck everything..Truth hurts,Life sucks,Go and Die.人不为己天诛地灭.these are so true..